


if i didn't have you

by heyla632



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Crying, Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Sad, Swearing, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26603893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyla632/pseuds/heyla632
Summary: Leon lost against Eternatus. It took Hop and Gloria. When he and Raihan go to rescue them, one of them pays the ultimate price. The other has to deal with the aftermath.(Inspired by a piece of fanart, if I ever find it again, I'll link it here.)
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Kibana | Raihan
Comments: 28
Kudos: 52





	1. can i tell you something?

**Author's Note:**

> I've hit a bit of a block on Three Days, and I feel awful about the wait, but this is something I started working on back when Three Days was just starting out, and this has been sitting in a similar unfinished place until yesterday! So until I finish Three Days, this will update daily :) Also have been working on a few other AUs at the same time, that's why everything's been taking so long to update ;-; too much going on in my head, yk? anyway, enjoy!
> 
> p.s. the title and all chapter titles are from "If I Didn't Have You" by Billy Crystal and John Goodman (aka Mike and Sully from Monsters Inc.)

_Leon._

That voice sounds familiar.

_Leon, please wake up._

Why do they sound so sad?

_Lee, come on, I can’t lose you._

Raihan?

_Sobs filled his ears._

Raihan! Hey, wait, it’s okay, I’m right here, I’m right一

Leon gasped, eyes snapping open. He was in Raihan’s arms. They were sitting on top of Hammerlocke Castle, and Sonia was crouched in front of him, tears rolling down her face too.

“Leon! Oh, thank Arceus, you’re okay, you’re okay…” She cried. 

“Okay? Of course I’m okay, what are you talking about一” It all came flooding back to him, none of it feeling quite real. Rose. The Darkest Day. Eternatus. Hop and Gloria. _It took them._ “Hop一Hop and Gloria, where are they? Where did Eternatus take them?” He demanded, sitting upright. Raihan grabbed the front of Leon’s shirt and shoved his head underneath Leon’s chin, wrapping him in a desperate hug.

“Arceus, Lee, please… Please don’t ever do that again. We thought you一” Raihan tried to take a deep breath but was interrupted by hiccups and sobs. 

“Hey… It’s alright, I’m okay now,” Leon assured them. He pulled them closer, and they held onto him as if they were afraid he would disappear. He almost did, after all. After a few minutes of clinging to him, Raihan pulled away. He cupped Leon’s face in his hands, running one of his thumbs over his cheek as if he were unsure that it was actually Leon.

“You’re still cute when you cry,” Leon joked. Raihan laughed weakly, and the three of them stood up. 

“What do we do now?” Sonia asked, wiping her tears. “We don’t know where Eternatus is, and it’s got the kids.” They began to exit Hammerlocke Castle, almost running through its hallways and out of the doors.

“Before we rush into anything, I say we train up our teams while we get a hold of their location. It’s clear we need to be stronger before we face Eternatus again.” Raihan suggested.

“Agreed. We can’t let a repeat of this happen. The next time we see Eternatus, we have to be able to stop him right then and there,” Leon nodded. 

Sonia’s eyes widened. “I can set up some search parties to look for any sign of where they might’ve gone while I get the lab up and running. I don’t know how long it’ll take, but once I get it working, I’ll be able to track Eternatus through its energy levels.” 

“Sounds great. Good luck, Sonia!” They parted, Sonia calling a Flying Taxi to head to her lab while Raihan and Leon flew to the Wild Area. 

Several hours later, Raihan and Leon had both managed to raise their teams by ten levels, training intensely and pushing their Pokemon to their limits. Leon didn’t think he’d ever felt more focused in his life, and he figured Raihan being with him also attributed to that. After all, Raihan was the one who always pushed him, was the reason why Leon was still on top. That, among other things, was why he loved him. Leon’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and it flew out and in front of them to answer. Sonia’s face appeared on the screen. 

“East of Hammerlocke Hills, against the mountainside. I’m getting energy readings there that can only mean one thing,” she said sternly.

_“Eternatus.”_

-

They arrived at the Wedgehurst lab to heal up not long after Sonia’s call. Their plan was to go to Eternatus’ lair, fight it again, and take the kids back. It wasn’t much, but what else could they do? They couldn’t risk more people getting hurt or taken, and issues like this should’ve been left up to the adults in the first place. No getting Marnie or Bede into this, no matter how strong they were as Trainers. They wouldn’t let any more kids be taken.

“If you guys win and take Eternatus out, I say we shove it in a PC box and never take it out again.” Sonia said.

“Agreed,” Leon huffed.

“And if we lose…?” Raihan murmured, removing his headband. He stuck a hand into his pocket, fiddling with something inside.

“We won’t,” Leon encouraged him. “I have you this time, and we’re both stronger than when I first fought it. We’ll get the kids, get out, and all of this will be over.”

Raihan managed a smile. “You’re right. Is your team all healed?” Leon nodded. “Then let’s go.” They’d just stepped out of the lab when Raihan felt his forehead.

“Shoot, forgot my headband, I’ll...be right back. Just stay here, it’ll only take a second.” Raihan went back inside the lab, the door shutting gently behind him. Leon was only standing out there for a minute or two, but a sinking feeling started settling into his gut. He couldn’t think of much that could go wrong when they faced off against Eternatus, despite all of the risks they were taking.

So why did he feel like something horrible was about to happen?

Raihan reappeared, a gentle smile plastered on his face. Leon spotted Sonia inside, one hand over her mouth. She looked upset.

“Sonia okay?” Leon asked after Raihan shut the door.

He chuckled. “Yeah, she just thinks I’m stupid. Turns out my headband was in my other pocket.” He slipped it on, and they took out Flygon and Charizard.

“Ready?”

“Yeah.”

-

They landed outside of Eternatus’ lair, a newly-carved cave that was pitch-black inside apart from the light seeping in from the entrance. Both Trainers dismounted and recalled their Pokemon. 

Leon stepped toward the cavern, but Raihan stopped him.

“Hey, Lee.”

“Yeah?” Leon turned to look at him.

“I love you.” Raihan hugged him. Leon, of course, albeit a little confused, returned the embrace.

“I love you too.”

_Why did this feel like a goodbye?_

After a moment, they pulled away, finally entering Eternatus’ cave. It was smaller than Leon thought it would be, but stalactites and stalagmites hung from the ceiling menacingly. As they walked deeper into the cave, they saw two figures, standing frozen in a mid-battle stance.

“Wait, those are一”

“HOP! GLORIA!” Both men ran to the children, finding that the only things they could move were their eyes. Gloria gestured with her eyes frantically behind Raihan, and when he turned around, Eternatus was floating behind him. The moment they locked gazes, Eternatus glowed, filling the cavern with red and blue light.

 _“You!”_ Leon roared, preparing to pull Charizard’s Pokeball from his belt.

“Oh, please. I am not here to fight.” Eternatus spoke. It didn’t exactly say anything like they could, it was more like the rumbles it formed somehow created words.

“What?” Leon said, baffled. “What do you mean?”

“I will let the children go in return for something you care about, Champion Leon.” Leon looked behind him at Hop, hoping for some sort of explanation. Hop was staring directly at him, but he couldn’t read his brother’s eyes due to the rest of his face being stuck in that single expression. Gloria was in the same condition, and Raihan shrugged, putting Flygon’s ball away. Leon reluctantly clipped Charizard back onto his belt.

“Alright, then. Something I care about.”

Leon had a feeling that Eternatus would be smiling right now if it could.


	2. you and me together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eternatus takes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry in advance :)

Leon stood deadly still, Eternatus dragging its appendages all over him.

“Something you care about…” Eternatus spoke. Another appendage silently wrapped around Raihan’s leg, unbeknownst to him. “Or perhaps…someone?” 

It laughed, yanking Raihan by the leg and dragging him into the air.

“RAIHAN!” Leon yelled, grasping at Raihan’s hand but missing. He made to summon his Charizard, but Raihan’s voice cut through the air.

“Don’t! Leon, please, don’t!” He yelled. Raihan was dangling upside down by the leg, tears slowly leaking onto his eyebrows and headband. If Leon attacked, especially by himself, Eternatus could do anything. It might take all of them, there was no way of knowing. With the pit in his stomach growing, Raihan steeled himself. “Make sure Hop and Gloria get home safe, would you?” 

“Raihan, _please!”_ Leon begged, his pleas stabbing Raihan’s heart, tears rolling down both of their faces. 

“I love you, Leon.”

_“NO!”_

Eternatus did something to make Raihan’s eyes and mouth glow blue, dropped him, and disappeared. The cave began to shake and crumble around them. Hop and Gloria were unfrozen the moment Eternatus disappeared, and the three of them scrambled to leave the cave. Leon struggled to pick up Raihan, slowly getting to his feet with the gym leader in his arms.

“Lee, _come on!”_ Hop begged. Leon finally stood and they dashed out of the cave. Not a second later, the den’s entrance collapsed behind them. Leon shakily kneeled, laying Raihan on the ground.

“Hey…Rai...talk to me, how’re you doing?” He cupped Raihan’s face in his hands, desperately trying to get a response. Raihan was barely able to open his eyes, and he gingerly moved a hand to grasp Leon’s wrist, holding onto it like a lifeline. 

“Not so great, champ…” he whispered. He was taking slow, shallow breaths and he looked sickly. Tears were starting to pool in his eyes as Leon started to sob again.

He couldn’t even say that everything was going to be okay, that Raihan would walk away from this. Because that was something he couldn’t guarantee.

“No, no, hey, listen to me, darling.” Leon took as much of a breath as he could without sobbing. “I love you. I love you so much and I’ll never forget you or the way you make me feel, how you hold me after our battles even though you lose every time, or how you’re still here by my side even after ten long years, and how you laugh at all the ridiculous things I wear, or how you look at me like I’m the greatest thing you’ve ever seen...” 

The tears were flowing freely now for both of them. Raihan’s other hand came up to Leon’s cheek.

_“That’s because you are...”_

His voice stopped, his eyes closed, his hands fell. 

“Please一don’t一go一” Leon choked. He planted his face on Raihan’s chest and dug his fingers into the fabric of his jacket. 

Sonia, Hop and Leon’s mother, Gloria’s mother, some police officers, and Raihan’s Gym Trainers entered the small clearing. Hop held Gloria in his arms, her hands cupped around her mouth, tears on both of their faces. Sonia ran forward to them.

“Hey, Leon, is一is Raihan一is heー?”

All Leon could manage was a strained wail and sobs as his body trembled violently. Sonia sat down next to him and placed one arm around his shoulder with her other hand clenching the sleeve of Raihan's jacket, she herself crying quietly.

Raihan was gone.


	3. that's how it always should be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath.

Leon wanted the Championships to be over as soon as possible. He knew it wasn’t the smartest choice for himself, but he didn’t care. He reorganized and pushed, and the date was set. Just three days after his boyfriend’s death. Everyone he knew tried to talk him down from it, convince him to just postpone or even cancel the battle. Even Gloria begged him to reconsider, because she knew what would happen if Leon went through with this battle that was much too soon. 

She knew he wanted to end his battling career. 

Without Raihan there to push him, to force him to be better, no one could. Without Raihan, he would stagnate, plateau. It was better to end it before it could take a turn for the worse, to put it out of its misery.

-

They were both down to their last Pokemon. One hit was all it would take for either of them. But he didn't want it. He didn't want to be in the limelight anymore. He wanted to retreat into Raihan's arms, where he wouldn't have to look out at the world and face his responsibilities. But Raihan was gone. His sacrifice had saved Gloria and his little brother. Gloria would not be here standing in front of him had Raihan not stopped Leon from summoning his Charizard. 

Raihan thought Gloria was worth saving.

There had been an uneasy stillness on the battlefield, neither of them quite ready to take this next step. Leon let his gaze move to her face, and his eyes said it all.

_Please. Take it._

The smallest of nods came from Gloria, one that would only be picked up by Leon and his Charizard. No camera, no replay of that moment would ever give away their moment of understanding.

He saw Gloria's lips move, and he shot Charizard a command that he knew it would not complete. And with that, the crowd's roars filled his ears once more. 

Gloria had won.

Leon tipped his hat low, covering his face as tears pricked his eyes once more. Leon could swear he felt a familiar hand on his shoulder. One wrapped in a black and blue glove, firm but gentle at the same time. An image flashed in his mind. A face he knew well. A bright orange headband, piercing teal eyes, and a fanged grin.

He smiled, throwing his cap into the air. 

He flashed this smile at Gloria, but they both knew who it was really for. This was just for the cameras. And she was perfectly okay with it. They both recalled their Pokemon, stepped toward the middle of the pitch, and shook each other's hands.

"Thank you." Leon said.

"Of course." She replied.

They turned to face the stadium, and Leon lifted Gloria's hand into the air, welcoming Galar's new Champion.

The incoherent yelling and screaming in the crowd suddenly became a repeated word, and his smile disappeared.

_Chairman. Chairman. Chairman._

Leon stumbled backwards, regaining his balance when Gloria had gripped his hand tighter and pulled him upright. The Gym Leaders had rushed onto the field now, Nessa taking a mic in her hand.

"And so that concludes this year's Gym Challenge, with a brand new Champion standing at the top! Congratulations, Champion Gloria!" She had tried to remove the attention on Leon, who was clearly not ready for it yet, and while the crowd did cheer for Gloria, it was only a moment before the word formed again. Leon was now being slightly supported by Kabu and Milo. Nessa quickly glanced at him, and his eyes were filled to the brim with tears, just barely not leaking out.

After all, only the Leaders, Leon's family, Raihan's Gym Trainers, and Gloria knew of their relationship. The rest of Galar had no idea how much he was grieving, how not ready he was to take on a responsibility as large as becoming the Chairman. 

Nessa managed to conclude the ceremony, adding that neither Champion would be available for interviews afterwards. The Gym Leaders crowded around Leon and Gloria as they exited the field, concealing Leon's breakdown from cameras and the public eye. Bea had plucked his hat off of the ground and slid it back onto his head to hide the tears that Leon now could not hold back. He had covered his mouth with his hand, Gloria holding on to his other as they walked.

It felt like an eternity until they had reached the locker room. Piers and Gordie all but slammed the doors closed once everyone had entered. Any League staff had been cleared out of the room by his mother, Sonia, and Hop, who were already waiting inside. They practically ran to wrap Leon in a tight embrace. Gradually, the Leaders joined in until Leon was being held in the biggest group hug he’d ever been a part of. In spite of all the love he was being showered with, he couldn’t help but be reminded of the fact that there was one Leader missing.

-

The funeral took place two weeks after Raihan’s death. Leon tried to speak but was unable to continue when he had to say Raihan’s name. Instead, he uttered a shaky “I’m sorry” and stepped away from the podium, Sonia and Nessa following closely behind. He couldn’t look at the body, because he knew from experience that it didn’t even look like a shell of the person it had once been. He didn’t want to taint his memory of his beloved Raihan, couldn’t ruin the facade that Raihan might just appear one day, completely fine. So he never looked. He looked only at the framed portrait next to the casket, picturing the man he knew and loved. Tears covered his cheeks for the entire duration of the funeral. 

His mind seemed to blank as he and the other pallbearers carried the sleek mahogany casket out of the hall. It blanked when the casket was lowered into the ground. It blanked when he went to drop his flower on top. It blanked when the casket was covered with earth. It blanked as the funeral ended and stayed blank until he arrived home at his flat in Wyndon. Sonia helped him change into loungewear and then he laid down on his bed, letting the grief absorb him. The empty spot next to him only solidified the hole in his heart.

-

After a few meetings with the Gym Leaders over the course of several weeks, it was decided that Leon would eventually become Chairman; but not until he was ready. Until then, each Leader would take a portion of Rose’s former duties and tend to them until Leon could retrieve them from each one. 

As for Hammerlocke, after many test battles and interviews with Raihan’s three Gym Trainers and a number of other candidates, it was decided that Sebastian would succeed the role of the Dragon Gym Leader, with Aria and Camilla working closely by his side.

In Leon’s eyes, he was not quite Raihan’s level when it came to battling, but hey.

No one was.

Not to him.

But that was okay. He didn’t really want anyone to be.

After all of the meetings and announcements, Leon was hardly seen out in public. When he was, he had his hair tied up, sunglasses on, and wore an outfit made of Raihan’s old clothing. The Leaders, Hop, his mother, and Sonia visited him whenever they could scrape an ounce of free time to make sure he was eating and kept his hygiene. If it weren’t for them, Leon guessed he would’ve followed Raihan ages ago.


	4. one without the other don't mean nothing to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simpler times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of Raihan backstory for y'all :)

Every now and again, Leon would almost feel as if Raihan had never left. He’d be standing in the middle of his living room and feel someone wrap around him from behind, one hand landing in the middle of his chest while the other rested on his stomach. Other times he’d feel a chin rest on top of his head while a pair of arms held him close. Sometimes he could swear someone had just kissed his cheek, the spot still warm from the touch. They were such comforting feelings whenever they happened, but the moment they went away, Leon was left feeling like Raihan had died all over again.

It was days like those where Leon would retreat to his bed wearing Raihan’s signature dragon hoodie and cry himself to sleep. 

Three months had passed since Raihan's death. Leon was only able to relieve one Gym Leader of their Chairman duties, that being Sebastian. Leon had also inherited pretty much all of Raihan’s belongings, as Raihan had gone to see the only family he had. Leon recalled that conversation one lonely night when he was reorganizing his own house, incorporating Raihan’s things into it. 

Raihan lived in Unova prior to coming to Galar. His family struggled with money his entire life. His father had borrowed money from the wrong people, and when they found that he couldn’t pay them back, he was killed. They went after Raihan and his mother too. She scrounged up what little money she had and sent her son to Galar to save him. After she had kissed his forehead for far too long to be considered a temporary goodbye, she waved to her eight-year-old son and began to cry as soon as he got on the boat with its many other passengers.

She had told him to look for a man named Kabu. He would take care of Raihan once he got to Galar. They were friends when she still lived in Hoenn, before she was married. She knew she could trust him. 

After days on the ocean, Raihan had landed on Galar’s shores. He held tight to the money in his pocket, just barely enough for a day’s worth of food. Enough to give him time to find the man named Kabu. After asking some people at a train station, he learned the name of a town. And so, little Raihan took off on foot to a town called Motostoke. Only accompanied by a young Trapinch his mother gave him from her time in Hoenn, he followed the beaten paths diligently until he reached his destination. 

He had walked directly from the train station to Motostoke, not wanting to stop in case he was tempted by a delicious-looking food stand or a shop with comfy clothing. When he finally arrived in Motostoke, he was near starving. After asking around a little more, he headed to Motostoke Stadium. He wasn't aware of how he looked until the staff member at the front desk of the stadium looked physically alarmed and frantically called Kabu upon little Raihan's request. 

A man in his early thirties wearing fire red garb entered the lobby and immediately spotted Raihan and the staff member. He walked over to them with a curious look on his face. He kneeled in front of Raihan, who gave him a tattered envelope with a few coins and a letter inside. A letter from his mother. He spent a minute or two reading it, then folded it back up, took a breath, and pulled Raihan in for a hug. 

Little Raihan hadn't realized how scared he truly was until Kabu had hugged him. Tears filled his eyes and he tightly hugged Kabu back. After a few minutes, Kabu pulled away, swiping Raihan's tears away with his thumbs. He asked the staff member to pull up a menu from the best restaurant in Motostoke and told the boy to pick whatever he wanted from it. A look of concern washed over Kabu's face when Raihan had chosen a single item, one of the cheapest on the menu. It was surely not enough to satisfy his growing stomach. When he asked him about it, little Raihan simply said,

"If I spend all my money on me, you'll go hungry, so you pick something, too." 

It took Kabu the better part of three minutes to even out his breathing and fight back tears to tell Raihan that he would not be paying, that he could keep his money, and that he would not, in fact, go hungry if Raihan chose whatever he pleased. Little Raihan did not quite believe him, but he chose something a little more filling in addition to his initial choice. Kabu added his own order, and told the staff member to double Raihan's and add a drink with it. 

When the food arrived at the gym, little Raihan began to cry. There was more food for him on this table than he’d ever seen when he was in Unova. Kabu had the gym closed for the rest of the day and let the staff go home early, earnestly thanking the one Raihan had first met. The challengers could wait. This child was so much more important.

Kabu noticed the way Raihan’s lip trembled whenever the child took another bite, as if he couldn’t believe there was food left to eat. He ate slowly at first, but his pace gradually quickened once he accepted the fact that yes, this food was for him. He didn’t have to share, didn’t have to save this food for tomorrow, because Kabu was sure there would be food tomorrow. And little Raihan was baffled at that. 

When they finished eating, Kabu took him home. He put Raihan’s clothes (which consisted of black sweatpants that were too small for him, a blue t-shirt with several holes, and a light grey sweater that was a little bit too big) into the laundry while he gave Raihan a bath. The boy was deliriously skinny, even with his abnormally small height for an eight-year-old. He was more than a foot shorter than Kabu, who wasn’t exactly tall to begin with. Kabu got him dressed in his now clean clothes, held his hand, and took him to Motostoke’s clothing store. 

Raihan was looking around when he spotted a shirt with a graphic of Duraludon on it. Kabu held the shirt up to Raihan's chest, checking the size when another little boy walked by. 

"I think it looks good on you. It matches your eyes," the boy said with a smile.

At this point, when Raihan was telling Leon the story, he chuckled a little. 

"What's so funny?" Leon asked, a grin on his face.

"You'll see." 

Little Raihan smiled softly at the boy.

"What's your name?" The boy asked.

"Raihan," he answered. The boy kissed Raihan on the cheek, causing him to blush furiously. Kabu was unsure of what to do, a look of pure confusion on his face.

"I'm Leon."

 _"Leon!"_ A woman half-yelled. She marched over to them, a baby in her arms. "That's not how you greet people, honey, you shake their hand."

"But that's not how _you_ greet me and Hop," Leon protested. 

"We'll talk about it later, sweetie. You shake hands next time, okay?" His mother sighed and turned to Raihan and Kabu.

"I'm so sorry, sir, I'm still—" She froze. "Mister Kabu?" 

"Oh, hello, Miss Amra," he said, straightening. He recognized her from when she had gone through her own Gym Challenge many years ago. 

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but I just—I wasn't aware you had children," she stated.

"Ah, well," he started, putting a hand lovingly on Raihan's head, whose face was still red. "Until very recently, I didn't. It's not completely official yet, but I am now his guardian." Leon's mother's face softened.

"Oh, that's mighty kind of you. If you ever need any help with him—not that I'm very much of an expert—I'd love to aid in any way I can." She beamed.

"Why, thank you. I'll keep that in mind." They parted ways and continued shopping. 

Adult Leon's blush had covered his face and neck, and his mouth was slightly agape.

"I did _what?!"_ He cried. Raihan burst out laughing, clutching the countertop as he doubled over. 

"I didn't realize that was you until we were probably halfway through our Gym Challenge, and I was completely _mortified!"_

"What? Why?!" Leon had now turned a deep shade of red, his blush disappearing into the neckline of his shirt. 

"'Cause that's when I realized I liked you," Raihan said quietly.

"You are such a dork," Leon said, moving closer to him.

"I know."

"But you're _my_ dork." He was kissing him on the neck now. 

"I know."

Present-day Leon was crying now, his sobs piercing the silence of the room. He dug his nails into the side of the cardboard box he was leaning on. He crumbled, his forearms on the ground as he wept.

"Arceus, Han… I miss you so fucking much," he sobbed. He fell onto his back, palms pressed to his eyes as tears slowly soaked into his hair. He felt something nudge his arm, and upon looking up, saw Raihan's Flygon sitting next to him. Both his and Raihan's teams were peeking through the doorway, checking in on their Trainer. Leon hugged the Pokemon tightly and scratched its head the way that Raihan always did. It melted into his arms, and Leon thought he could see its eyes water.

Leon went to bed that night wearing Raihan's dragon hoodie and orange headband. If he focused hard enough, he could imagine Raihan's scent enveloping him, even though he’d worn the jacket so many times that it had long since faded. He stared at the empty spot on the bed next to him, its vacancy a grim reminder of everything Leon had lost. He placed a hand where Raihan's chest would be and whispered into the still night air.

"I love you."

With that, he drifted into sleep.


	5. i don't have to say it, 'cause we both know it's true

He had strange dreams that night.

He was met with the sound of soft breathing, the feeling of hands exploring his body while lips periodically met his neck or his own. He felt a careful weight resting on his abdomen and legs flush with his sides. A familiar torso lowered itself onto his own, the fabric of both of their shirts pinned between them. Arms wrapped themselves around his neck, the mattress beneath him easily giving to make space for them. Leon moved his own arms to hold the person above him in a gentle embrace, feeling lean muscles slowly rise and fall. A sigh came from the person, and the voice of his dear Raihan followed, a low chuckle right next to his ear.

"I love you, too."

Then the bed disappeared, the weight and warmth of Raihan's body on his disappeared, and Leon was floating, dangling in the air by the ankle. This was so familiar, yet so new at the same time. Raihan was standing on the ground, his eyes glued to Leon and a desperate look on his face. His hand moved to his belt where his Pokeballs were but Leon's own voice cut through the air.

"Don't! Raihan, please, don't!" He felt tears seep into his eyebrows and hair. He knew why this was all so familiar now. "Make sure Hop and Gloria get home safe, would you?"

"Leon, _please!"_ The cry made Leon's gut twist like a towel. 

"I love you, Raihan."

_"NO!"_

His vision was drowned in a flash of red, and the next thing he knew, he was on the ground outside, his body horribly weak. He felt warm hands cup his face.

"Hey…Lee…Talk to me, how’re you doing?" He could hear Raihan's voice breaking, its sorrow piercing Leon's heart.

"Not so great, Han…" Leon said, opening his eyes a fraction. Raihan began to whimper, unable to contain his sobs. Leon moved a hand to grasp Raihan's wrist as he felt his consciousness slipping.

"No, no, hey, listen to me, darling," Raihan begged. "I love you. I love you so much and I wish things had turned out differently, because you have so much more to offer the world than I do, you're so much stronger than I am, and I—I'm—" he was sobbing so much at this point that his entire body was trembling. "I'm sorry it took me so fucking long to realize that I need you. I'm sorry—I'm so sorry—it should've—it should've been me—" 

Leon's heart broke. There was so much he wanted to say to Raihan, so much reassuring he wanted to do. So little time. 

The next words that came out of his own mouth shocked him.

"Go...go to Sonia...I gave her something...to give to you. It's the only way you'll...see yourself the way I do…"

He felt his body grind to a halt and slipped into darkness.

Leon woke up with tears soaking half of his pillowcase. He slowly sat up and looked at the digital clock on his nightstand, the same one that was formerly in Raihan's bedroom. 6:32 AM.

"Rotom?" He called, his voice deepened with grogginess. The phone zoomed into view, the Pokemon's face looking at him with an alert worriness. "Can you call Sonia, please?" The Pokemon turned around, showing the screen that now displayed Sonia's icon and name with "Calling…" above it. Despite it being early morning, she answered.

"Lee? Are you okay? What's wrong?" She asked, her voice also pitched with sleep.

"Can I come over? I need to talk to you." What was the chance that his dream was true? The tables were turned, but most of it was the same. Did Raihan...really have one last gift for him?

"Oh, I just need to clean up a bit, but sure." 

"Okay, thanks. I'll see you in a few," he said. He hung up and slowly got out of bed. He pulled Raihan's headband off of his head, laying it on the nightstand. He went to the bathroom, washed his face and tied his hair up, then replaced his shorts with one of Raihan's sweatpants. He recalled Flygon and Charizard and gathered their Pokeballs. Slipping on some shoes, he headed for Sonia’s lab.

As he slid off of Charizard's back, he felt a twinge of apprehension. Was he just being stupid? Would Sonia tell him that no, it was just a dream, that Leon already had everything left of Raihan? That there was nothing waiting for him in her hands?

He knocked on the door. He suddenly had the urge to run away. Footsteps approached, the lock clicked, and the door opened. Sonia appeared in the doorway, her lab coat draped over her pajamas.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey."

He leaned over and hugged her, and she returned the embrace after a brief moment of confusion.

"Come on," she said after he pulled away, "Let's go inside."

She sat him down at the lab’s kitchen table and offered him a glass of water, which he took after realizing how dehydrated he probably was. 

"So what brings you here?" 

After taking a moment to steel himself to relive his dreams, he explained them to her. When he finished, he took a long sip of his water.

"Oh, Leon, honey, I'm so sorry." She put a box of tissues in front of him and hugged him again. He took a deep breath.

"This is probably a stupid question, but...did R-Raihan give you anything? Like I did in my dream?" He asked. He was almost desperate now, his heart pounding in his ears. He watched Sonia's hands tighten around her cup. Her head tilted downwards, tears began to form, and her hands started to shake.

"Sonia…?"

"...Do you remember when you guys were about to leave to rescue the kids?" She asked, her voice unsteady. Leon nodded. "You two were already outside, but he came back into the lab where I was. He went up to me, and…" 

-

Raihan closed the door behind him, walking towards Sonia.

“You forget something?” She asked. He sighed.

“I need to ask you a favor. It’s...really important.”

“Yeah...?”

“I have no idea what we’re up against. I have no idea how any of this is going to go, but if things go south…”

“Han一”

“If something happens to me, I need you to give this to Lee for me.” He took a small black box out of his pocket. She knew immediately what it was.

“Raihan一!”

“I know. I was going to do it after we battled, but I ended up losing to Gloria and...a lot of things just went wrong, y’know?” He took a breath, trying to steady himself. “So, in case I never get the chance to, can you please give this to him?”

After a moment of fighting back tears, she nodded and took the box from him, placing it in one of her lab coat pockets. She pulled him in for a hug.

“Come back to us, yeah?”

“I’ll try.” She pulled away, and he gave her a broken smile. He pulled his headband out of his pocket, walking backwards toward the door. “See you on the other side.”

-

Sonia reached into her lab coat pocket. "I've been carrying this around for months and I just didn’t know how to give it to you without breaking your heart,” she sobbed. She pulled the same small, unmistakable black box out of her pocket and put it on the table in front of Leon as she covered her mouth.

“I’m so sorry, Leon,” she said, gasping through her sobs, “I’m so sorry.” 

Leon could only stare at the box, his heart sinking lower and lower until he was sure it had left him completely. His hands trembled as he reached for it. He picked the box up and opened the lid. A sob slipped out of Leon’s mouth as he stared at its contents. 

Two rings. Both had golden bands and two gemstones each. One ring had a dark blue and an orange gemstone, while the other had a red and purple one. It was no doubt that each ring was supposed to be worn by the other partner. Leon, silently crying now, slid the ring with the dark blue and orange gemstones on his left ring finger. 

Of course it was a perfect fit. 

Of course, even after Raihan was dead and gone, he still made Leon feel as though his love had never left him.

Of course.

“Sonia?” Leon called, looking up at her.

“Yes?” 

“Thank you.”

They hugged once more, and Leon went home. He crawled into bed, the box on his nightstand, Raihan’s ring on his finger, and fell asleep once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be counting up the 1s and 2s today and will make a decision at 12pm PST, September 26th, 2020, so get your votes in beforehand! :) Thanks for reading! <3


	6. i wouldn't have nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're perfectly happy with the ending of chapter 5, you don't have to read this one :) but for those of you who were crying ridiculously like I was, keep reading!

Leon awoke to the sound of soft beeping. 

He opened his eyes. He was in a hospital bed. He tried to lift his arm only to find it attached to several IV tubes and wires. 

“What the hell—?” He groaned. He looked around the room and spotted Sonia, Hop, and Gloria, all of them noticing that he was awake. They all stood up, quickly approaching him. 

“Lee! You’re awake!” Hop cried. He hugged his brother tightly, furthering Leon’s confusion.

“Leon? How do you feel?” Sonia asked. 

“What are you talking about? I’m fine. What happened?” Leon asked. He glanced at his hand again, his left ring finger bare. “Where’s my ring?”

Sonia looked nervous. “What ring?” she asked.

A spark of panic struck him.

“Sonia, you were the one who gave it to me. R-Raihan’s ring! The one he told you to give to me if he died from fighting Eternatus. Sonia, come on, this isn’t funny!” Leon said. He was sitting up now, visibly distressed. She put her hands on his shoulders.

“Leon, calm down. Raihan didn’t give me any ring, I didn’t give you any ring. You’ve been here in the hospital since you fought Eternatus.” She said sternly.

“What are you talking about? The fight with Eternatus was months ago, Raihan’s—Raihan’s —that was three months ago!” He practically yelled. He could feel his eyes stinging and his chest tightening.

“Leon, listen to me. You fought Eternatus three _days_ ago. You were hit by Eternatus’ blast and got knocked out. Raihan’s fine, he helped take Eternatus out after you became unconscious.”

“That’s an understatement, Raihan would’ve torn Eternatus apart by hand if I didn’t catch it first,” Gloria laughed. 

Hop nodded. “I’ve never seen Raihan more angry. I thought he was gonna burst into flames.”

Leon’s heart was leaping out of his chest.

“You—you mean Raihan’s—Raihan’s _alive?”_ Sonia stared at him with a puzzled look. 

“Yes.”

Leon threw the blanket off, scrambling to get out of the bed.

“Whoa, hey, Lee, you shouldn’t—” Sonia started. She blocked him from walking away from his bed, trying to soothe him like he was a scared Pokemon. He tried to move past her but all of the wires and tubes he was hooked up to held him back. 

“RAIHAN! HAN!” He called. Realizing how frantic he was, Sonia kept her hands on his shoulders.

“Kids—could you go find Raihan, please?” Hop and Gloria both nodded and sprinted out of the room.

"He looks really shaken, what do you think he dreamt about?" Hop asked, panting as they ran.

"From the way he's talking, it sounds like Raihan died," Gloria replied. “Come on, we gotta hurry before he does something stupid.” They ran through the hospital’s long, winding hallways until they made it back to the main waiting room, where Raihan was slumped in a chair, his headband pulled over his eyes. Hop shook him awake.

“Wha—whusgoin’ on?” He slurred. 

“Lee—he’s awake—looking for you—going _mental—_ ” Hop panted. Raihan immediately yanked his headband out of his eyes, stood up, and started running, the kids at his heels.

His heart raced, his footsteps gradually speeding up until he reached Leon’s room.

Leon stood up, spotting Raihan in the doorway. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Tears were flowing down his face.

“Is it really you?” He asked, his voice soft. Raihan took a few steps closer.

“Yes,” He panted. “Yes, it’s me.” He was now within arm’s reach. 

Leon held out his arms and Raihan wrapped him in a tight embrace, Leon’s head on his chest.

_Thump-thump. Thump-thump._

Leon began to sob.

“Oh, God, don’t let this be another sick fucking dream,” he cried. Raihan lifted him up and pinned their waists together.

“It’s not a dream, I promise.” He pressed his lips against Leon’s, filling Leon with warmth that he thought he’d never feel again. Raihan gently pulled away, looking at Leon with those bright teal eyes that he’d missed with all his heart. 

“Does it feel real now?” Raihan smiled. Leon nodded, his teary grin widening. Raihan placed a few kisses on his neck as he put him back down.

“We’ll have the doctors check you out again, and then we’ll go home, okay?” Leon nodded again, letting Raihan’s heartbeat fill his ears as Sonia went to call a nurse. 

All of a sudden, Leon’s world felt right again.

Even when he lost the Championship against Gloria, even when his entire world was shaken again when he became Chairman, even when he had to endure numerous court proceedings to clean up the mess Oleana and Rose left behind, even when he had to spend sleepless nights at the Battle Tower preparing for its opening. 

The world felt right.

Because Raihan was his world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!! There were two 1s and and four 2s in total! 1 meaning I _wouldn't_ post this alternate ending, and 2 meaning I _would._ I like to leave things purely up to chance, and I've found that using this kind of number system is more, I guess, effective (?) in helping me choose between options. If you have read this far, thank you for reading! Feedback, comments, etc. are always welcome :) I've got a lot of stuff in the works, and I don't know when I'll finish them, but I'll be sure to post one-shots and shorter stories in the meantime :) Thanks for all the support and love I've received so far, it means the world <33

**Author's Note:**

> for purposes that will not be disclosed until all chapters are posted, please comment "1" or "2", thank you!


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